10 Things I Learned from Pretty Little Liars

Everything I Need to Know in Life, I Learned From Pretty Little Liars.

SPOILER ALERT

This post concerns everything up to the episode that aired on 6/28/11.

Scroll down to the next red text to pass the spoilers.

 So, after watching tonight's episode of Pretty Little Liars, and being thoroughly nerved out every time Spencer looked out a window, I have come up with a list of 10 things I learned from watching the girls deal with their stalker, A.

1. Lock your doors—even though we've seen that A is sneaky enough to find a way in, there's no harm in creating one more barrier between you and the creepiness.

2. Never ever look out a window when all you can see is your reflection. A is probably standing right on the other side of the window. How would you know? You can only see yourself.

3. If you need to be alone anywhere for any length of time, get a dog. A big, mean one. With teeth. And a spikey collar. You can name it Brutus.

4. Not everyone is out to get you. I promise. Some people you can trust. Like Ezra. And your fellow Liars. Like Jack Sparrow says: “You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest.” Still....

4.5 Don't trust anyone.

5. Watch what you say. And when you say it. And who you say it to. Actually. Probably better if you don't say anything at all. About anything. Ever. Anything you say can and will be used against you in everything you do, every day.

6. Even though life's not fair, it's still worth it to do the right thing. Like apologizing to Lucas. And trying to make up with Melissa. Forgiving Ezra. Tearing up the faux scholarship letter.

7. Don't give in to A's demands! Every time a Liar decides they just HAVE to do what A wants, I cringe. Remember Hanna and the cupcakes? And the breaking of Sean's heart?

8. Keep asking questions, even if people doubt you. (What is Jason doing back in that old house and who else was in there?) But....

8.5 Don't jump to conclusions. (Ian never did admit to killing Allison, and Spencer should be careful what she says since A wiped Emily's drive and planted the fake-bloodied trophy.)

9. If A gifts you with evidence, don't yap about it, and don't let it leave your SIGHT until you get to the police.

10. Always... always (this is very important) have perfect hair and the latest clothes. If you are going to be harassed, you had better look damn good while doing it. :D

I would just have said “stop lying” at number one and have done with it, but then we'd have no show and my Tuesdays would just suck. Also...I can understand why the Liars lie. They're doing their best with a difficult situation in which it seems like they have no friends.

Truth is hard. And when you have secrets like the Liars do: when you feel ashamed, when you fear other people's opinions of you, it's even harder. No one wants to get in trouble. In that moment when someone is about to find you out, if you are skilled at lying, it can seem like an easy way to escape the blame. Allison was a heedless liar, and she taught the other Liars well. She also tangled them up in her lies, and that is a sticky web to try and free yourself from, especially with A hanging around the edges: A, who knows all of the dark, dirty truths. 

END SPOILER ALERT

The following is spoiler free, to my knowledge.

Pretty Little Liars with a Big Ugly Problem: Stalking 

That list was partly in jest, and partly—not. Stalking is serious business and should be treated as such. It is a crime and can be really harmful, as we see on the show! Stalking is kind of an iffy situation because harassment is really subjective, but law cannot be subjective. The definition of stalking is “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person fear,” according to the National Center for Victims of Crime, but that's not a legal definition. And the legal definition is different depending on what state, district, or tribe has jurisdiction. So a person might have what they consider a stalker—a person who causes them fear—but go to the police only to find that the definition does not fit. Most of the laws don't cover new technology, and we've seen A send e-mails, use flash drives, and send text messages. And in some places, it's not stalking unless a person specifically threatens to harm you.

The Parents' suggestion that the Liars see a therapist was well-meant, but since the Liars aren't admitting that they're being stalked, The Parents don't realize that stalking is the problem, and not grief. Victims of stalking are more likely to be depressed, to miss work, and live in fear like the Liars. And the Liars still have to finish their homework at the end of the night! Stalking is no joke, and I was absolutely enraged that A ruined the therapist for them as a safe haven.

There is tons of great information at Stalking Awareness Month. If A's behavior on Pretty Little Liars sounds a little too familiar, you can find out what the laws are in your state, get help about how to handle stalking, and even get buttons and magnets to promote awareness. Stalking Awareness Month is January, but victims of stalking deal with it every single day of their lives, sometimes for years.

Take away the entertainment aspect of Pretty Little Liars, and it's a pretty grim subject. But that's one of the things I love about the show. It is absolutely fearless showing these girls deal with (and sometimes exacerbate) tough problems. Each girl has her own issues and secrets, and it's part of what makes Pretty Little Liars so engrossing.

Uni Beauty

Willow Shields

This is Willow Shields who has been cast as Primrose Everdeen in the Hunger Games. You might notice, as I did, that she sports a facial feature that is culturally taboo.

Ms. Shields has a unibrow.

She's like a little blond Frida Kahlo, and I like it.  She's unapologetic. And her brow frames her big brown eyes, illustrates the little freckles on her cheeks, and makes her unique and memorable.

Now, my very first thought upon seeing this picture of her was, "Can't they just wax her!?" But then, shortly after, I thought...why? She's pretty just as she is. And she's a kid. She shouldn't have to worry about that nonsense. Yes, let's give her a complex. I hope she appears in The Hunger Games with her brow intact.



And I've compiled some photos of other people who have unique, "correctable" features, and who wear them unapologetically and beautifully. 

For your viewing pleasure.

Stacy London

Stacy London is a co-host of TLC's What Not To Wear. She's a style expert. On the show, she's great because she's completely honest with the guests, but doesn't forget that how you present yourself is a very personal thing. She treats them with compassion, honesty, and a sense of humor.

She has a streak of gray hair down the right side of her face, something she has had for many years. It doesn't diminish her (or her hair's) beauty. Stacy has even, recently, been seen in ads for Pantene, showcasing her hair itself.

She is not beautiful despite her gray hair, she's beautiful because of it.

Kate Bosworth

Kate Bosworth has two different colored eyes. It's odd to look at at first. Human eyes are fickle things, and are subject to many an optical illusion. When a person has two different colored eyes, they look almost as if they have two different expressions at the same time. Since we take many social cues from eye contact, trying to connect to someone with different colored eyes can be difficult.

But this photo illustrates their exotic beauty. Her skin, hair, and lips are almost all the same color. The photo is very close up, forcing you to focus on her face and her face alone. You have to accept her gaze. You cannot look away. First, you are slightly disturbed, then, as you appreciate the unique beauty of these eyes, you realize how lucky she is to have such a distinguishing feature.

Keira Knightley

This is Keira Knightley. You probably know her from Pirates of the Carribean, Bend it Like Beckham, Atonement, Domino, or King Arthur. There is something about her that deviates from standard "hollywood beauty."

The girl has tiny boobs.

In Pirates of the Carribean, they gave the impression of cleavage with airbrushed makeup. But in fashion shots like this, you can see that her small breasts are not hidden or enhanced. You see her as she is.



(I have to admit that I included Keira because I have quite the opposite problem, and I'm terribly jealous.)

I have only women on here because I think that they are expected to adhere to as stricter "code" of beauty. But I'm interested in finding more uniquely beautiful people--men and women--...people who shock you at first, but then, on second look, you find beautiful. If you have any, leave them in the comments or check me out on twitter!

"Hungry fingers devour me, wanting to feel my flesh. As a stricken man clutches my face between his hands, I send a silent thank-you to Dalton for suggesting I wash off the makeup. How ridiculous, how perverse I would feel presenting that painted Capitol mask to these people. The damage, the fatigue, the imperfections. That's how they recognize me, why I belong to them." -Katniss in the rebel's hospital in Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

The Trials of Katniss

Jennifer Lawrence

I am sure you're wondering why I have a random beautiful girl on the side of this post. Who is this person? Why is she on Amanda's blog? Where have I seen her before?

Well, I will satisfy your curiosity presently.

It's Katniss!

This is Jennifer Lawrence and she will be playing Katniss in the Hunger Games movie. She was nominated for an Oscar this year for Winter's Bone, and if she doesn't really look like the practical, ruthless, skillful, compassionate, faithful Katniss you imagined, just pull up some of the pictures from that movie.

Your faith will be restored.

I have really high hopes for the Hunger Games movie. My one big concern is that they'll do what they did to The Golden Compass and miss the entire point. I hope it doesn't look or feel like Twilight. There is going to be a pretty girl torn between two different and worthy guys, but Katniss is NOT Bella, and I hope that they don't portray her as some romantic damsel. She is NOT romantic. All of the romance in the books comes from Gale and Peeta, NOT Katniss. But Jennifer Lawrence can play it well, I think. I saw the clips from Winter's Bone, and she looked awesome. If she's tough like that, she'll make a good Katniss.

The actors for Gale and Peeta have been cast too, and I am pleased so far, although I have never seen the movies they're in. From their photos, I think they are a good foil for each other. The actor who plays Gale is kind of exotically beautiful, and the one who plays Peeta is kind of down-home beautiful. Gale and Peeta both have their strengths, and they are both good people. They have hard decisions to make, and they do the best they can, even when they make mistakes. I like the dichotomy of the two. In the books, I waver back and forth between favoring them just like Katniss does.

I am sure you have read The Hunger Games, but just to be safe:
SPOILER ALERT.

It's different for Katniss though. She is unromantic. She is practical. She has always been accustomed to putting survival first. I'm a lot luckier. I don't usually have to wonder whether I'm going to survive. Things that threaten my are usually beyond my control: the chance that an airplane I'm on might fall out of the sky, for example. No one can defend themselves against catastrophe.

But of course, I don't live in a post-apocalyptic version of the world. My strength is not continually tested. Sometimes I wish it were, and others, I'm just glad I live in a fairly stable world. On the one hand, I would like to prove to myself that I'm not completely useless. I would like to win a fight, scheme my way out of danger, be determined the fittest in a life or death crucible. On the other hand, I am just glad I don't have to.

One of the reasons I love the Hunger Games trilogy is that I can expound upon it like this. Another strong reason I love them is because it challenges my morals. It challenges what I find acceptable. Katniss is placed in a terrible situation, and she has to make some gut wrenching choices. For her, the choice is constantly between the lesser of two evils. Her position in her world is always precarious. She is balanced on knife's edge all the time. And yet she finds ways to be compassionate in her compassionless world.

In the arena, every person is a danger. No one can possibly be your ally, because every person must be your enemy. Katniss and Peeta solve this in the only way possible: A stalemate fueled by compassion. It was incredibly brave. And had a low chance of success. Most people wouldn't be strong enough to resist the temptation of a rules-devoid battle to the death, especially if you were among the last few. If you killed a few of your opponents, and began to have faith in yourself, if you thought, once, "I could win this. I could survive. I could beat all of the other people." You might be sucked into the glory of it all. A gladiatorial glory. A fight that previously filled you with terror now fills you with power. You feel like you could survive anybody. Bring em' on, and you'll lay them out. I am convinced that Katniss could have prevailed in the arena. But she chose not to.

Looking back with our 20/20 hindsight, and our detached, objective view, it seems obvious that this is the answer. But if we were experiencing it (as we do, from Katniss' eyes, in the present tense, while reading the book) how many of us would make the right decision?

Hard to know.

But I am glad none of us ever have to find out.

"I spread out my fingers, and the dark berries glisten in the sun. I give Peeta's hand one last squeeze as a signal, as a good-bye, and we begin counting. "One." Maybe I'm wrong. "Two." Maybe they don't care if we both die. "Three!" It's too late to change my mind. I lift my hand to m mouth, taking one last look at the world. The berries have just passed my lips when the trumpets begin to blare." - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins